“You’re so lucky. Do you think I could get off cruising like you did?”  I’m sure Teresa is asked this question. After more than four decades of voyaging then writing several books about our experiences I know it’s been put to us literally thousands of times. So as a guest blogger on this site, I decided to write out the answer we give to potential voyagers.

Our experience has shown us that almost anyone can go cruising—that is, anyone who really wants to do it and does four things:

1. Decide that you are going, that nothing will stop you, and that, from this moment on, all your time and effort will be directed toward your goal.

2. Accept the fact that it may take four or five—even 10—years of preparation before you finally cast off your mooring lines and set sail.

3. Be prepared to evaluate realistically what size boat you need and what gear is essential. You need to include the necessities and exclude maintenance-prone luxuries that only absorb cruising time and money.

4. Realize that no one really wants you to go cruising!

The decision to go is the hardest part of the whole project. There always seem to be so many reasons not to go: children, aging parents, a business or job you’ve worked hard to develop, physical handicaps. But if you are determined to go, you’ll analyze each of these factors and probably discover that each problem can be solved. If not, it may just be an excuse to hide your fear of heading into the unstructured existence that a cruising life seems to represent.

Lin and Larry cruise aboard "Taliesin"

Once you’ve made a firm decision, peer and family pressures could be the biggest deterrent to realizing the “Grand Adventure.” In fact, you will find that almost no one will encourage you to go off cruising. Your employer doesn’t want you to leave. Your parents don’t want to worry about your being “out there.” The local boatyard owner, boat-builder, and chandlery owners don’t want to lose a customer. Your children and grown friends are worried they’ll miss you, or maybe they’ll resent hearing about how much fun you are having in Mexico while they grind through yet another blizzard-swept day. Other voyagers may be concerned that you will dilute their sense of accomplishment or add to the crowd in their favorite anchorages. All of these people will create doubts by asking, “Are you an escapist? What about your future? What about the children?”

In fact, we think children are the best reason to go cruising. Over the years, we have met dozens of families who cruised with their children for six months, a year, or sometimes more. The majority of parents agreed that the children thrived on the life and the parents and children became a closer family unit. The children developed a fine sense of responsibility, the capacity to entertain themselves, and a shipboard education, supplemented by correspondence courses that often put them at the top of their classes when they returned to regular schools. We’ve remained in touch with several of these families and have come to know their children as adults. Most recall their cruising time as “the greatest time we ever had as a family.” As a whole, ex–cruising kids seem to be exceptionally successful as adults, and many look forward to sharing some time on board a cruising boat with their own children.

It definitely is not as simple to go cruising with children if they are above the toddler age; that could necessitate a boat closer to 35 feet than one under 30. On the other hand, we have met several families who cruised for six months to two-years on boats as small as 28 feet.

If you wait too long to go cruising—until the children leave home, until the mortgage is paid off, until the next promotion comes along—family obligations will only increase. Parents are less likely to need your assistance when they are 50 to 60 than when they are older. The lure of being there when the grandchildren arrive could stymie your cruising plans if you don’t go right away. (See “The Game Plan” in The Cost-Conscious Cruiser.)

More on this topic by Lin Pardey is coming soon! Later this week I’ll post Don’t Wait to Cruise and then Go Small Go Simple Go Now.

You can find more by Lin Pardey at their blog and website. Lin and Larry Pardey have published many books over the years that have inspired Ben and I to set sail. I just cracked the spine on her latest book, Bull Canyon, which I expect will be wonderful like the others. I’m are also excited to meet with Lin and Larry to learn from their years of adventuring and to discuss their involvement in One Simple Question.  

Last week I was in Florida visiting a friend on her boat. The waterway was full of boats and beautiful houses. A lot to see and notice. But I was focused on the company I was with and wasn’t paying attention until she said, “My friend Anne lives on the boat next door. She sails it all by herself.” My ears perked up. Another solo sailor? And to top that, another female solo sailor! I always pay attention to the sailors around me while I’m cruising. Most often they are couples. Occasionally there is a family or a solo male sailor. Now I can say I’ve met another solo female sailor.

Ben and I met as solo voyagers and agree that it is the core of who we are as sailors today. In all the sailing I have done, nothing compares to what I have gained from solo sailing for an extended period of time, and I will always treasure that opportunity. I wrote “The Gifts of Solo Sailing” for Cruising Word a few months ago to describe why its valuable to me. Yet, even the best writing wouldn’t capture the essence better than experiencing it. So, when I heard there was another female solo sailor right next door, I just had to meet her and get her take on it.

Anne Hennessey lives aboard her boat Dakota and is bound for the Bahamas. Most of the time she is sailing alone. Occasionally he invites a friend or two aboard Dakota and they enjoy an afternoon out on the water. “Thats one of the things I love about sailing is to see it in new eyes again. I’ve taken women and men who haven’t sailed before and some of them love it in the first minute and others are like, “Well um..thats nice…,” she said, and then giggled. She was lighthearted and fun. We sat in her cockpit and talked for a while about sailing solo, being a female sailor, and her dreams and fears.

I asked her if she noticed any difference of how women and men respond to her being the female captain of her own boat? My question caused her to giggle. “Thats interesting,” she said, drawing the words out. “Most women are really happy that I’m doing that. A lot of people say when they hear about it that it gives them the idea to follow their own dream, and I like that a lot. A couple of times, men respond differently.” More laughter.

“How is that?”

“Most of the time if I’m in a good mood I just shrug it off.” She was warming up to my questions. “Once in a while my Irish temper gets up. Once I had a bridge tender that really gave me a hard time. To give him the benefit of the doubt, my boat has a racing rig, so its a really tall rig. He didn’t understand why other boats could get through and that I would always ask for an opening. One day he said to me,” and at this moment she leaned forward, lowered her voice and produced a serious tone, “Now I want you to go right through the middle and I’m going to scope you as you go through.” Then she leaned back, threw up her hands and said, “Well, I thought that was fine, because I knew I couldn’t fit under the bridge. And I went through and he had nothing to say. After that he stopped giving me a hard time.” We both giggled at this for a moment. Then she became thoughtful, “Its almost like I had to prove myself. And this is the important part of the story; When I would have someone on the radio who knows how to use the radio, and it was a male voice, he never asked them. He never questioned them.”

I understood what she was talking about. I had experienced this kind of bias too. But as with anything, there is also a positive side to it. So I asked her, “Has there been any perks of being a woman solo sailor?” Her answer came as no surprise. “Every once in a while, coming into a marina, I will get extra help. There will be people wondering what I’m doing and offering to help me. I can think of a couple of marinas where the boats that were with me would check up on me. One guy offered to go up the mast for me. But I like to go up the mast. But on this particular time I did need another set of hands for the project, so I appreciated his help.”

We then began talking a bit more about solo sailing. Despite never wavering from her decision to choose this path, there have been a few times when sailing alone really challenged her. She told me about a time when she was sailing north from Miami and saw a squall coming south toward her. She decided to avoid the squall and turned back toward Miami. “I I hadn’t been paying attention to Miami,” she said, “So when I came about, I saw a huge squall coming at me from Maimi too,” at this she laughed. “And you know how it gets very cold before the squall strikes. Well, that happened. And in that moment I was thinking, “Oh no!” But I got through the squall just fine. I barely got to the mouth of Fort Lauderdale when the squall was over. There were two other boats out there. One was larger with a crew of four. When the squall was over they headed out again and I thought, “Thats only because they have a crew of four. I’m a crew of one and I’m tired, I’m going in!”

“I’m glad you made it through the storm,” I told her and then said, “When you decided to buy a boat, were you nervous that it would be too much to handle?”

“Yes,” she replied quickly. “When I started I had zero experience with a diesel engine. So I read a lot and tried to learn as much as I could. But its different having your own. So, that part scared me and I thought I would just stay around people and ask enough questions. I’m still learning, and its been good. And I think thats part of it. Its never the same; the weather, the boats, the crew. So you’re always learning. Thats one of the reasons I love it.”

Before we parted, I told her that a lot of people dream of living on a boat and doing what she is doing. I asked her what she thought it took for someone to get out there and do it. She looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, “When I was growing up I told my parents that since the family all loved the water, we should live on a sailboat. But my mother said we would have to sell the house, which I thought was a great idea. But she had the veto and didn’t think that was the thing to do. So when my life turned around and I had the opportunity to do this, I just felt that I had to. I love sailing, I love being at the tiller, I’m just so so happy. Thats what it takes; knowing that its really what you want to do!”

I suppose it took a sense of humor too.

“Reward lives in the house of risk,” he said from the makeshift stage that was erected near the city dock, the town center. It was the first time he stepped on land in almost a year. His hair was long, his feet bare, and his smile big.

Matt Rutherford was there to talk about his journey around North and South America in a small sailboat, non-stop, and alone. I watched his expression and wondered if he was experiencing the culture shock that I sometimes experienced after having sailed solo for a while. His would be ten-fold. Three-hundred-and-some days is a long time to be at sea. I call it re-entry-itis. Its the unnatural colors, loud sounds, fast pace, and people…simply to many people, with demands that don’t align with a solo life on a boat.

I wonder what drives a person to spend so much time alone. Matt’s journey around the Americas is quite an accomplishment. But doing it non-stop…now thats an entirely different dynamic, I’m sure. Its not something I’m driven to do. I want to stop, to see new places, and hang out for a spell, while getting to know the cultural. Yet at the same time, having a charitable motivation, as Matt did, gives a greater purpose to any journey.

Matt Rutherford’s sail was to raise awareness and money for CRAB, Chesapeake Region Accessible Boating, a non-profit organization that makes boating accessible for people with disabilities. His goal was to raise 250k dollars, and while he raised a significant amount, he didn’t reach the goal. Members of CRAB explained one way they would like to use the money. They planned to adapt a boat so that people in electronic wheelchairs can come aboard in their chair and enjoy a day on the water. A privilege I often take for granted. They talked about wheelchair bound people often being afraid to leave their chair and it even being such a barrier for some that they choose not to set out for an afternoon sail with CRAB. This modified boat would welcome so many more would-be sailors in wheelchairs.

CRAB is a remarkable program. I remember years ago, when I first began teaching sailing to children at a summer camp. One week out of the season was reserved for a special program. Instead of enrolling children in the courses, we took disabled children and adults sailing on the lake. A middle-aged man in a wheelchair was lifted into my boat. Two of his friends joined us and the four of us hoisted the sails and pointed the bow toward the opposite shore. The man smiled and turned his face into the wind. My thoughts were focused on keeping the boat stable and the man comfortable.

“This is the first time I’ve been sailing since the accident,” he said and explained how he used to have a boat on Lake Michigan. He sailed every summer for years until his car was hit by a drunk driver leaving his paralyzed from the waist down. “This is the best day of my life, since then.” He thanked me several times as he was lifted off the boat, but I’m not sure who was more grateful, he or I.

CRAB needs to raise 21k by the end of next month in order to receive a matching donation. Ben and I are placing our donation today. Please give a few bucks and then pass this story on.

Thank you CRAB and thank you Matt Ruthford for keeping us grateful for what we have and reminding us to share and help as often as possible!

]]> http://sailingsimplicity.com/matt-rutherford-and-his-solo-sail-for-crab/feed/ 1 http://sailingsimplicity.com/red-right-returning/ http://sailingsimplicity.com/red-right-returning/#comments Sat, 07 Apr 2012 03:14:35 +0000 Teresa http://sailingsimplicity.com/?p=1385 Teresa Carey's Sailing Simplicity

Last week Ben and I welcomed two friends aboard Elizabeth for an afternoon sail. It was the first sail of this season, and we were excited to dust off the cobwebs. We headed out into the bay, hoisted the sails, and set a course for the opposite shore. The chilly air was reminiscent of a summer day in Newfoundland, and the sea spray that struck our faces tasted of salt and smelled of new beginnings. We toured around the bay, tacking and gybing, sailing full and by, and then bearing away, we made a run back toward home. Upon entering the channel, Benji on the bow shouted back to our guest at the helm. “Have...

Last month I wrote an article that was published in Cruising World. Even if the newsstand copies were sold out, you can still read my article. Just click here to read The Gifts of Sailing Solo.      

It’s the moments when I worked hard to take care of Daphne, when all the elements of the ocean were testing me, and when all the strength of my body was gone that I found resources in myself that would’ve remained undiscovered and still buried today had I not sailed solo.

I’ve always been focused on living a healthy lifestyle. After-all, a healthy body directly enhances the quality of life and level of happiness. But with all those warnings and labels, its hard to know what products are safe for my body and home. Merry O’Brien is an expert in non-toxic lifestyle products. She and I went to Whole Foods where she taught me all about the beauty and household products that are safe, and what ingredients to avoid. Merry and I wandered the store looking at everything from toilet cleaners to lightbulbs and bath salts to makeup. In this video we focus on shopping for shampoo.

If you like this blog, please join the community on Facebook, share it with your friends, and consider making a financial contribution. Thanks for your support!

A few weeks ago I spoke with Lars from viaDe Travel. ViaDe Travel is a new social community for people who love to travel. People can share their story there, and learn from other travelers. The site also connects people with tourism boards and travel industry professionals to help people plan their next adventure.

Lars and I spoke for a while about why I like to travel, what I was seeking when I first purchased my sailboat, and what adventures I have planned for the future. He made an excellent video and posted it on their site. Click here to watch the vid!

Last spring Ben and I were in the WUSB (SUNY Stony Brook) radio station to discuss our upcoming summer sailing and filmmaking plans. Then, in October Habanero invited us back for a follow up interview on her show “Whatever Floats Your Boat” radio show. We talked about our film project, One Simple Question, and the trials, hardships, successes,  and triumphs of our northward journey to see an iceberg this past the summer. It was a great follow up, and a pleasure to be on Habanero’s show again.

Click below to listen to the October 21, 2011 radio broadcast.

Click here to hear the broadcast from last May.